Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Early Years 2010: Slow Ride.

Originally Posted on September 7th, 2010. 

So my website has been a ghost town.  I've had trouble writing these past two weeks.  It's not that the thoughts aren't there, they are growing more in number if anything.  I have one month left before I leave India, and I am filled with complex emotions and overwhelming thoughts.  It's difficult to explain how I have become attached to Bangalore or India in general.  I will leave and I might not ever see this place again.  Every time that I attempt write about the thoughts, feelings, and experiences I become overwhelmed.  I attempt to tune myself out from the constant thought processes by smoking pot.  Sometimes I am successful and I relax myself in a short state of pure enjoyment.  Other times, I get the inspiration to write; and then the thinking escalates.  My mind never stops thinking about everything I am experiencing.  My brain, this analysis machine is constantly on the lookout for a new victim to shred.  Perhaps my issue stems from my inability to stay forever busy and the concept that "Idle hands are the devil's playground."  Or maybe it is a spiritual issue on my pathway to gain a greater awareness about life and the world around me.  If such is the case, perhaps I have become addicted to searching for myself here and fear my return to reality in our perfect American world.  Either way or another, my thoughts are scattered and I have officially tipped my scale towards lunacy.

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